Monday, March 8, 2010

worrying for worry ? no I am cheerful ! Am I ?

Can we say when the worry starts for us and when the worry ends in our life period? Have you thought of it. Worry starts from KG school regarding how teacher is going to deal in the class or how the student sitting by our side is going to give us trouble. The reason and type of worrying differs whether it is Teenage or middle age or old age.  You worry about career and education when you are in teenage. During your transition from teenage to middle age worry starts in a different angle about who is going to be your partner and how she/he is going to adapt for the new environment etc. .  Then.......... I will handover the subject to a friend's transcript of student / teacher in the class of "LIFE".
Hope you will start enjoying about worrying or worrying about how to get rid of worrying !  This is not actor "Visu's" dialogue about ....... 


Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?  Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing? Is this decease has been brought forward in our gene like diabetes or heart ailments from our ancestors.

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
stitches in my daughter's head.  I asked, "When do you stop worrying?"  The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage."  My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making
license plates.  As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through
this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them."  My dad just smiled
faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
home, the front door to open.  A friend said, "They’re trying to find themselves.  Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying.  They'll be adults."  My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.  I was still worrying over my
children, but there was a new wrinkle.  There was nothing I could do about it.  My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.  I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life.  I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, "You look pale.  Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home.  Are you depressed about something?"
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry?  Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown?  Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?
One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you?  I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

(And also to your children.  That's the fun part)